Dating a black woman is not only a different story but also requires a man to be a real man. I am not prognostic about it as any sort of bad experience. But I would warn the guys to stay out of this business unless you are really serious about the matter.
That said, I mean that you have to do your complete homework before actually starting dating a black woman. We will discuss it further later but at the moment, let’s just keep it in mind.
There are no do’s and don’ts but dating a black woman is something that should come out of your heart. Or Else, no gain and you will terribly fail. This is not the game of weak hearts.
Let me say that your culture, genetic heritage and upbringing have a lot to do with dating life. This proves to be far truer in the case of dating a black woman than any other girl of different race.
You might have heard the term SBW – Strong Black Woman. I tell you my friends don’t take it as joke. A black girl will not let you go if you will try to screw the date or the relationship.
Let us talk about all these aspect further in details from a little different angle. Let us see what we usually think, what the reality could be and how you can mold it into a beautiful experience.
Pre-Dating stage – – – – – DO YOUR HOMEWORK BEFOREHAND
Don’t jump into process at once
When you are interested to look for romance or relationships outside your race or ethnicities, you must bear in mind a few rules;
- Each culture is different.
- The culture effects the thinking and behaving patterns of its people
- It also formulates their views and ideologies towards certain aspects and ideas of their lives.
Therefore, if you are a White or an Asian guy and are interested in dating a black woman you need to learn about their basic views and attitudes towards a relationship.
You need to see, what works best in their community or society which they belong to and which gives them an identity.
Don’t fall into the trap of stereotypes and the myths
We have a problem, we are way too sluggish in forming our perceptions and views about certain groups based on what is projected by the media or majority or people around us.
Well, my friend if dating a black woman is seriously one of your desires, then yes, you need to do the homework. You need to check about the facts and myths from various different sources before believing on them and before acting accordingly.
Some of the thoughts and stereotypes about black women that we come across could be;
- Black women are very rude and lack femininity.
- They love arguing and yelling.
- As projected by the media, they are strippers and not so good looking. So are not worthy to be a girlfriend or a wife
- All black women are Hip Hop music and gang members type girls
- Dating a black woman will culturally and socially be frowned upon
- Black woman use racism as a shield to cover their laziness and lack of decency
I do not say that the reality is entirely the opposite. These could be true to an extent but not completely. Remember, negative news always is louder than the reality.
You will have to carefully unfold these secrets by re-evaluating them on the basis of your choice and observation of the source you use to gain the knowledge.
Most importantly, if there is a real desire of dating a black woman, you will not be much bothered by these stereotypes.
Also, you have to learn there could be certain situations which may trigger such behaviors. You will have to figure out how to deal with them instead of running away.
On a Date/Relationship
Whoever talked about dating a black woman, majority admitted that they had their fears and concerns. That perfectly makes sense. I have few tips for you who are seeing your black beauty.
Always be original
Always remember, if you are dating a black woman, mere praises won’t do the work. Showing your love and appreciation are another thing. Don’t make false praises unless you could prove them with your actions.
When I say be original, it means you don’t have to act like a black guys in order to impress your black girl. She knows that you have a different racial background and a unique personality.
So be who you are instead of making unsuccessful attempts of being somebody different. Don’t rely on assumptions. Let it be natural. The will lay a foundation of true connection.
Pay attention to what your words and actions when you are dating a black woman–A small wrong gesture and game over. Never let the stereotype directly or indirectly make the way in your conversation of actions.
For instance—I have heard from one of my friends who is a black girl, once telling me that on a first date a white guy asked her. Would you mind doing some hair treatment? I love black girls but I wish their hair would be straightened.
Mind you, black girls are sensitive. Be heedful towards giving them respect and ensuring that you love them for who they are.
That was just one example. I can quote hundreds of such experiences that black girls have faced. Don’t buy the tag of being a typical insensitive white male.
Treat each girl individually. Remember you have not picked a representative of a race or a society but just a girl with a heart and dreams. She is unique and has her own personality.
How You Can Shape Up a Lasting Relationship
Nobody ever said dating a black woman has been an easy experience in an interracial relationship. Even one of my friends admitted that many of her aunts are single. The reason is that they don’t find a compatible partner.
Let me help you here with a few suggestions to get old together.
Unlike other women particularly western women, dating a black woman don’t look for a man with just a heavy wallet.
You will need to be complete man. I was reading a survey on preferences of black women at different ages for different traits of men. That included honesty, caring, humorous, responsible etc.
Nowhere, they have mentioned of a rich or a wealthy man. However, the word replaced it was ambitious. Have some goals and learn to make progress. You will gain respect from your black girl.
Be emotionally mature
Don’t try to be a grown up kid. Mature women never like such attitude.
Dating a black woman means you have show your decision making power, your ability to cater differences and stand by her side in times of opposition.
Develop an atmosphere of trust, understanding and affection
I tell you the key. Based on my conversation with a number of black girls, I came to the conclusion is that they really appreciate true love.
If you really strengthen your relation while dating a black woman, try to understand her. Be confident but at the same time discuss with her on how you can be her better guy.
We cannot deny the issue of racism against people of color. Have you ever thought why they seem so strong? The racist attitudes have pushed them to edge in making their way to survive and live a regular life.
But yes, I agree with the thoughts popping up in your mind. Many guys complain when dating a black woman that they seek refuge behind racism and runaway from healthy habits and actions.
True, friend but yes who said you have to be blind to everything. Try compromising where you can, build trust and understating where it’s possible.
Never leave your girl just because your family or friends and people around will not approve this relationship. If your heart agrees, listen to it.
I read somebody saying a beautiful line for such friends—if they give a nasty look just because she is black, change your friends.
So, concluding –be you, respect, learn and grow, be vocal and communicate, learn how to take stand for your girl and don’t get into microagressions. I wish you a wonderful dating/relationship with your black girl.